Sunday, June 29, 2014

Bike Helmets are Dorky


I was resistant to the idea of getting a bicycle helmet.  It just seemed a bit ridiculous to me.  After all, when I was a kid, I rode my bike everywhere and never had a serious injury.  Oh sure....I'd take a spill every once in a while and maybe scrape my knee or elbow, but that was never any big deal.  Just rub some dirt on it and keep going.  

Besides; bicycle helmets look....well....stupid.  They usually come in bright florescent colors and are shaped as if they would fit some alien's skull.  Nothing says "dork" like wearing one of these things, so I pretty much made up my mind I wasn't going to mess with getting one for myself.

Until I took a spill off my bike.

And another.

And another.

And I was getting really bloodied and bruised.  

I was starting to think to myself "that old saying about once you learn how to ride a bike you never forget is a bunch of shit" but realized that I still knew how to ride a bike, I just wasn't as pliable as I was 40-50 years ago.  The bones and joints are not as flexible.  I have a lot more mass.  I don't heal as fast.  Plus, I really ought to have a bit more sense than when I was an eight year old.  At that age I more or less thought I was immortal and indestructible.  Now I know better and know how fragile body parts can be, especially the head.  I can't afford to lose anything....most specifically what little I have in my skull.




Tuesday, June 24, 2014

New Toy


It's not fancy.  In fact, it's just something grabbed off the floor at KMart.  It's not high tech super duper costing a grand or two....but it's grand to me and it does the job.

I've never really understood why people would spend so much money on a bike.  When I was shopping around for one, the prices started at seven or eight hundred dollars.  Shhhheeeeeeeet.  It's a bicycle for crying out loud!  I would no more pay hundreds of dollars for a bike than I would pay hundreds of dollars for a pair of shoes.  It's not only a matter of my well known cheapness; I don't have that kind of cash laying around to spend on whatever I want.  My wife would give me a severe ass whoopin if I spent a paycheck or two on what is basically a toy.

So I get this, and I like it.  Works great.  I'm not going to enter any races.  I'm just wanting to get a bit of exercise and was getting tired of the treadmill.  Plus....I can go down some bike trail paths in the woods.  It's really cool (literally and figuratively) early in the morning.  Maybe I'll take some photos sometime.


Monday, June 23, 2014

Cry Baby


I got myself a brand new bicycle.  I wanted one for outdoor exercising...specifically for the miles of great trails close to my home.  Jogging hurts my creaky old joints so biking is my solution.  Doing cardio in the gym week after week, especially when the weather is great, is a bore.

Anyway, I took the bike out for its maiden spin this afternoon.  It really is true that you never forget how to ride a bike; however, it evidently is possible to forget how stupid some automobile drivers can be and are sometimes so wrapped up in talking on their cell phone they are oblivious to anything or anybody else.

One such idiot was weaving down the road yakking on her cell phone forcing me to jump a curb and scrape the shit out of my leg.  Okay....it's not a big wound, not even worth a bandaid....but it fucking hurts.  I don't think this is what is meant by that no pain no gain saying.

A Double Dog Dare

video
I've got a page over at Facebook called getF.I.T. It was started up by myself and a friend of mine, Boyd.  Both of us have pretty much drifted off from doing anything with it....life happens.  Anyway, I decided to revive the place and see if I can bring it back to life.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Pull My Finger


It has to be the oldest joke.  It most likely is one of the first that we experience.  By the time we are able to walk and talk and grab stuff, some wit will point and say "hey, pull my finger".  The youngster gets a delightful and magical surprise.  The alleged adult gets the satisfaction of passing on a tradition to yet another generation.

Everybody loves this.

Right?

Well....I guess not.  My  wife, for instance, refuses to pull my finger when I offer it to her.  I can't really do this at work since my staff would file harassment charges against me.  My friends may go along, but then they would have to try and top me and some of those guys can really let loose hideously raunchy stink-bombs.  My grandchildren, who would probably really think this was cool, live far away.

I am reduced to self pulling.  A flatulence masturbation so to speak.

Hope I don't go blind.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Don't Be Cruel


I mean....WTF?  Really?  A group of women go to the gym and, rather than do something wild and weird like, oh, I dunno, exercise...they clump together yakking it up.  Besides the irritating point that they were IN THE WAY of others trying to get at machines or weights; their conversation tended to be about other people in the gym.

Now, normally, people talking around me doesn't bother me.  I'm fairly deaf and with my music, I can drown out everything.  Yet their conversation caught my ear and, like driving past a horrible car wreck, couldn't stop myself.  Here are some snippets I overheard.

"Look at that whale on the treadmill.  Gawd, you can hear her legs pounding all the way over here".

"Yeah, them monster boobs must hurt flying up and down like that."

"Check out the fat guy with a cane.  Jesus!  He can barely move his lard ass."

"I don't know why these blobs bother coming here every morning.  Really turns my stomach to look at their huge stomachs."

"ha ha ha ha ha"

.....and on and fucking on. 

The one major difference between these assholes and the people that they were making fun of is that the people they were making fun of were actually working out.  The assholes did what assholes do....just hang around and stink up the place every now and then.

The gym is the place to go to GET fit, not to show everybody how fit you are.  Making fun of fat people at a gym is like going to a hospital and making fun of sick people.  I know a lot of people (myself included) that struggle with the low self esteem of being badly out of shape.  A major difficulty is overcoming that enough to get ourselves into a gym and start doing something about our bodies.  I've personally found that most people do not even notice if you are fat or out of shape because they are focused on their own training.  The few who might are supportive because you are there doing something about it....it's a common cause.  I belong to the YMCA.  It's a Christian organization but I'm an atheist.  They don't care...because it's all about having a place to get and be healthy.  The only membership requirement is to pay your dues.  Fat people are welcome.  This is where you belong!  

Next time you see a new person, one who obviously has not even thought about exercise in decades...smile at her or him.  It takes a lot to take that first step.  We all have taken it.  Aren't you glad nobody tripped you to amuse themselves?

Keep your heart true.

Wednesday, June 04, 2014

Vacation?

I hate vacations.  Really.

Oh....I love the time off, being able to relax, getting away from the daily grind, and all that other stuff of being off work for a few days; but it's a real pain in the ass to return to the office.  Paperwork doesn't stop and it just piles up waiting for me.  

I need another vacation.