Thursday, October 31, 2013

My Halloween Schedule

Before sundown with all the cute little kids shelf candy, the good stuff. Hershey bars, Reese's cups, Snickers, tootsie pops, etc.

After dark with somewhat older kids but still dressing in costume ....anything left from the first round and adding the cheap crap I still have left over from last year.

After 8 pm with teens looking for free food and if they wore a costume it would be an improvement over their raggedy hoodies and droopy jeans ....the pop-tarts in the trunk of my car with a best-if-used-by date of three years ago.

After 9 pm I will be emptying out the contents of my cat's litter box.

Anybody knocks on my door after 10 pm gets a special treat.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Friday, October 25, 2013

Be Weird Friday

Why "be weird Friday"?  Why not?  Friday is the day that I celebrate the precious freedom that we all have but rarely exercise...being weird.

I think it's a real problem.  Not being weird.....but the fact that so few dare to embrace weirdness.

When you were a kid, being weird came naturally.  It was called having fun.  Laughing at silliness.  Laughing at yourself.  Somewhere along the line we became so self absorbed, so self conscious, that we lost the urge to just be goofy for goofy's sake.  We became adults.  We got serious.  We grow old but, more tragically and unnecessarily, we act old.

When's the last time you were weird?  Would you dance in a pink tutu?

Celebrate weirdness.  Do something to make others laugh and you'll probably make yourself laugh as well.

And isn't that a great way to end any week?

Thursday, October 24, 2013


I'm a busy guy.  I work all week in a demanding job.  Up early in the morning and going all day.  I don't have time to exercise....not today....maybe tomorrow...if I have time.

Then a hospital bed.  Can't even go to the bathroom without nurse assistance.  And, as I lay there in that bed with tubes and needles and wires; I think about how suddenly un-busy my days have become.

If I had exercised regularly beforehand, chances are I wouldn't have had to spend the time in the hospital.  Maybe or maybe not...who can say?  One thing that I do know is...I would much rather spend an hour in a gym than five minutes in a hospital.  Exercise may just minimize future hospitalizations.  Certainly worth an hour of my attention.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Running With the Old Dogs

The cardiac rehab I'm going to three times a week is something quite unique.  It's in a gym that's pretty much like any other gym with only a few differences.  The primary difference is that it has a crash cart available just in case somebody's ticker gives out while on the recumbent bike.  Of course, everybody is wired up to monitor their heartbeat and, every once in a while, you'll see the nurses run around to find somebody whose wire has slipped to make sure they didn't flatline.   But all in all, it is just a gym...with the exception that most of the people using this gym are, shall we say, seasoned citizens.

And that's really good for me because it means there is no intimation factor going on.  Nobody is showing off in the mirrors and nobody is trying to pick up a date or impress anybody else.  Everybody is working on their particular workout plan.  We are all there pretty much for the same reason....we want to get more fit so that we can live a few more years.

Though there is no real intimidation, there is still some things that irk me once in a while.  For example; every workout session usually starts with a brisk walk around the track for a few laps.  I usually begin at a pretty good pace and am counting how many times I'm going around the track and what machines I will be getting on afterwards.  Then.....out of nowhere....some really old dude all hunched over goes shuffling by me like I'm barely moving.  A couple of minutes later, he laps me again.  "Really?  Damn Grandpa, where are you getting your energy?"

Proof positive that age and fitness are not correlating values.  Also proof that I am way, way out of shape if I can get showed up in a gym by Methuselah.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

You Are an Inconsiderate Asshole

I'm not hating....I was one too.  Nearly a month of being a non-smoker has really opened my eyes to just how disgusting the habit is to those who don't smoke.  It has also opened my eyes to how smokers are blind to these offenses.

Cigarette smoke stinks.  There is just no way around this and the aroma hangs around a smoker like a fog.  As well, five minutes in proximity with a smoker leaves you with the same odor.  Smokers are immune to this because they are use to the smell.  It's kind of like being in a feedlot....initially the powerful smell of manure knocks you back on your heels, but after a while, your nasal passages get overloaded and don't register the stench anymore.  This phenomenon causes smokers to assume that nobody else can smell their cigarette smoke either, so they happily puff great clouds, usually right in your face. Nice folks who would be mortified if they publicly let loose with a fart that could curl paint give no thought to blowing out toxic pollution from their mouths.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" say the ever polite smoker who doesn't really expect an answer to the question.

"Hell yes!" I reply.

That response usually gets me sneers and grumbles as if I was impinging on their right to stink.   I guess that makes me the one who is an inconsiderate asshole.

Wednesday, October 02, 2013


This was my first day in cardiac rehabilitation.  It's an exercise center run by the hospital staffed by nurses for heart patients.  The idea is to do cardio to help heal and repair whatever damage you may have with your heart or circulatory system.  They wire you up and monitor you closely....I guess in case you seize up on them or something.  It's a pretty nice place, very modern with lots of state-of-the-art equipment, and it is also populated entirely by older people.

Intimidation factor here?  Zero.

Some of these guys though....really can punch out a workout.