Monday, October 31, 2011

Halloweenie

This is a rough time of the year for someone like me who has a serious sweet tooth and trying to lose weight.  What to do about the tradition of giving out candy to groups of disguised little nose-pickers that come to your door, yell out "trick or treat", and stand there looking cute?  Take a stand against childhood obesity and early onset diabetes and give out apples and bananas?  I'm too soft-hearted for that.  Besides, I don't want to get my lawn TP'ed.

I thought of getting really cheap, really crappy candy....things like ribbon candy, butterscotch hard candy, and stale candy corn.  That would definitely deter me from sampling out of the Halloween bowl but, like I said, I'm too soft-hearted to inflict that upon kids.  They did go to all the trouble of dressing up in costume.  The least I can do is give out something to make it worth their while and to perk up their parents who have to drag their little darlings all over the neighborhood.

So...I get the good stuff...stuff I like....hence the problem.  There's the bowl by the door.  Oooooh lookie, an Almond Joy, I love those things, just one, it's a small size.  Hmmmm..Reese's...yum...just one....dang that was good, maybe one more.  Kit Kat eh?  I bet kids don't really like those, they're more an adult candy.

and on, and on, and on....till I turn off the lights so that there will not be a chance of any more trick or treaters while I sit in the dark gorging on the last Toostie Roll.

Friday, October 21, 2011

The Giant Killer


Once upon a time
there was a boy named Jack,
who was told to take a cow
to market and...
Yeah, yeah, we know,
said the crowd to the old man,
about the magic beans
and the beanstalk
climbing to heaven,
where you met a giant
and killed him.

It's true, said the old man.
When I was young
I climbed a giant beanstalk
to the clouds
faced danger and excitement,
gathered wealth
and slew the terrible giant,
the story is true.
The old man harrumphed
eyeing the smiles of the crowd
that did not believe.

There are no such things,
said the crowd to Jack,
as a beanstalk so high
or a giant in the clouds.
You're old and senile,
confusing your life
with a fairy tale,
and if it were not so funny,
it would be sad
to listen to your delusion
day after day.

How can you scoff,
said Jack to the crowd,
when I have proof,
such as the magical harp
I freed from the castle
of the fearsome giant,
or the stump
of that great beanstalk
out in the field,
as wide as a house.
Don't take my word
see for yourselves.

What you call a harp,
foolish old man,
is only a radio
and the stump,
what is left of a tree.
What about the goose
who laid golden eggs?
Show that,
and maybe we will believe.
So Jack stood
and held out his hand.

The goose died,
since they never live long,
but I traded the last egg
for these.
He opened his hand
to show three dried beans
and said with glee,
These are worth more
than any gold or jewels.
They are the same magic beans
that I used when I was young.

And the crowd laughed
and walked away,
leaving Jack standing
his hand outstretched,
holding his beans,
till he knelt on the ground
and pushed the seeds
into the earth
and waited.
I'll show them, he said,
and waited.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Homeland


Wyman Meinzer's West Texas from Wyman Meinzer on Vimeo.

I've lived in Kansas for over 20 years....but I still love and miss where I grew up.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Vitamins

One supplement in which there is some controversy are vitamins. Do they help? Are they necessary? Is it a waste of money?

My opinion is that they help. I take a multivitamin/mineral tablet every day. I know that the purists will say that one can get all these nutrients through food but, realistically, I'm not sure that you can eat all the varied types of foods to get everything from A to Z every day. Vitamins are something of an insurance policy....it covers my daily requirements even when I don't get to eat all the right types of foods during a hectic day which, by the way, is pretty much every day.

I also believe that it helps keep the immune system working at peak efficiency. Oh, I get sick once in awhile. The usual colds, bugs, and whatnot; but I rarely get lay-in-bed-wish-I-was-dead type sick. It's kind of odd that, though I'm the oldest person in the group of people that I work with, I hardly ever have called in a sick day. I'm thinking that making sure I have my vitamins, while not preventing sickness, helps me fight it off and recover much more easily.

I take a blend designed for men age fifty and over. It supposedly has stuff in there to promote the health of body parts that are of concern to men my age. I just buy the generic store brand with the thought that vitamins are vitamins and that there is no difference between store and national advertised brands. In fact, I'm pretty sure they are made by the same companies anyway.

One thing that is odd though....they list all the vitamins and minerals on the back label in super tiny print. These are suppose to be for guys over 50! Don't the packagers know that most of us are half-blind? They might be trying to slip some crack cocaine or plutonium in there for all I can tell.


Saturday, October 08, 2011

Saturday Push Ups



The challenge is how many push ups can I do in one minute, but I'm finding that my first challenge is to do a minute's worth of push ups.  Still....17 this week.  I'm getting stronger.

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

One Month

No drastic changes after one month.  In fact, hardly anything to notice at all if I go by the scale.  It turns out that I didn't lose a single pound....but take note.  Though I weigh the same, my bodyfat percentage went down 3 points. Whipping out my trusty calculator, I figure that I have lost six pounds of fat from my body.  That's fat, purdee blubber that I'm not carrying around in my body anymore.   Just a little reminder that a scale will not tell you squat about any changes to your body.  Like most things...it's the totality that counts.

Speaking of ---------

Neck     16 inches (no change)
Chest     45 inches (+1 in.)
Gut         47 inches (-1 in.)
Waist     42 inches (-1 in.)
Hips       42 inches (no change)
Thigh     22 inches (no change)
Calf        15 inches (no change)
Forearm   12 inches (+1 in.)
Bicep      14.5 inches (+ half in.)

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Saturday Push Ups

Well...I'm up to 15. That's one more every week since I started doing this thing. I know it's not much but remember that I haven't attempted a push up in DECADES. I could probably do a lot more if I was sloppy with my form, but the memory of a screaming D.I. just will not let me get away with that.