Thursday, October 22, 2009

Tell Me Lies.... Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Okay. I've completed three days without smoking. I've saved around $30 that I would have normally spent on cigarettes, which about covers the cost of nicotine patches for a week. My teeth are clean and my breath is nicely scented thanks to all the cinnamon toothpicks I've been chomping on. I can actually smell things again and can take a deep breath without feeling like my lungs are going to seize up on me. My smoker's cough is fading. I have more O2 in my blood and have a bit more energy during the day.

This is a dangerous time for me.

It's dangerous because all the immediate ill effects of smoking are fading and I only have memories of what I liked about smoking. This is the point when I start talking to myself and...when the addict voice lies.

and oh the lies I can lie to myself

"Go ahead and have one. You don't have to completely stop. If you just have one or two cigarettes a day, that will make it easier to quit. Well, (insert name of friend) smokes and they are perfectly healthy. You can smoke tomorrow because it will be a stressful day. Smoking keeps you from overeating."

and on, and on, and on.....with the always lurking whisper from that addict voice inside of me; "no one will ever know"

I've discovered that in this stage of the quitting process, I can find a lot of excuses to relapse. Everything from being stressed to being bored, they all sound good. The only way I've figured how to fight against those sweet little lies is to mentally shout "YOU LIE!" every time they pop up in my brain's self dialogue.

It's working for me so far.

I may start having to yell it out loud if my inner liar gets more persistent. That should make for interesting times at work.

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