And good riddance.
Oh...it wasn't a bad year as far as things go for me personally. I got married about half-way into the year, which was a very good thing. I had a lot of good times with friends and watching my children and grandchildren grow and develop. Professionally I have done well. No major health problems. No financial stressors that couldn't be dealt with. Everything seems to be maintaining...particularly this fitness goal that I've had all year.
and that is the problem
I went through all the photos I have taken of myself and, for all intent and purpose, it looks as if I took them on the same day rather than spread out over twelve months. My initial reaction was to sigh with despair; nothing is changing, nothing is happening, I still carry around this fat flabby body of a middle-aged couch potato.
then I got pissed
What is wrong with me? Why can't I do what I know others have accomplished? Is it really too late to do anything about anything or am I just a lazy screw up full of talk and short of walk?
In the stillness of this last pre-dawn morning of the year, I'm forced to consider some unpleasant aspects about myself. I am lazy. I want results without paying the price for them. I'm following the the classic path of addiction and insanity by doing the same things over and over while expecting different results each time. Nothing about me will change until I make some changes myself.
To remind me of that irritating fact, I put together the video clip below. It's not really put out here for entertainment or to blow my own horn. It's certainly not anything I'm proud to show...but I'm posting it for my own sake. This video disgusts and angers me. All the goals with fitness that I've started with this year went nowhere and accomplished nothing. I do not want to make another like it...ever.
So...watch it if you like. Fair warning that it is just a succession of unappealing photos. There is no amazing transformation. There is no celebration of triumph.
Just a wake-up call for myself.
2008 from Jay Sheer on Vimeo.